Say what you want about Vegas, but, at the very least, it isn’t Reno. You know it. I know it. Reno is the poor man’s Laughlin. People that live there would always rather be somewhere else, whether it’s Vegas, The Bay or even Sacramento. Let’s be honest, if it wasn’t for Lake Tahoe, no one would even care about Reno. Here’s a parody version of Drake’s “Headlines” honoring our ugly red-headed step-sister to the north.

I say this with the utmost confidence
Reno s**** big donkey d***s
I’ll say this slowly so even you can understand this
The world knows you are the skidmark on Nevada’s underpants
and you stink like port-a-potties, bus depots and cigarettes
Number one in meth labs, trailer parks and crabs
You make Honey Boo Boo Child look like she is upper-class
and you’d rather be in the Bay, Vegas or even Sac
If it wasn’t for Lake Tahoe no one would give a crap.
Reno. Reno, Reno, Reno. (Yeah) Reno. (Yeah)

Damn, your women love them fries
always get them super-sized
Even Hendertucky rolls their eyes and cries,
“Thank God they’re not Reno”
Reno, Reno, Reno. (Yeah) Reno. (Yeah)

Seth Meyers:

According to a new list, the least happiest city in America is St. Petersburg, Florida but that’s only because Reno, Nevada finally killed itself.