Spence

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It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.

So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?

Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.

I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?

I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)

I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.

So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.

Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”

– Spence

Rob Carr/Getty Images

Spence’s Super Bowl Prediction

In the sports betting world there’s something called advanced analytics. The big-braineded odds makers combine mathematically derived metrics with advanced algorithms that factor in situational variables to determine who will win things like the Super […]

98.5 KLUC–17 hours ago

Scott Cunningham/NBAE via Getty Images

Mascot Kills with Uptown Funk Performance

If you’re a Runnin’ Rebel fan you have to also be a fan of Hey Reb. And, by the way, who doesn’t love mascots. Am I right? The performance, below, puts our beloved Hey Reb […]

98.5 KLUC–01/28/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Controversial Domestic Violence Ad to Air During Super Bowl

Following the debacle that was the NFL and its commissioner, Roger Goodell’s handling of the Ray Rice domestic abuse case, an organization has created a Super Bowl commercial demanding Goodell’s ouster. Ultraviolet, an advocacy group […]

98.5 KLUC–01/28/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Deflategate Update

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, in a press conference, blamed the mysterious loss of air in those 11 AFC Championship footballs on “atmospheric conditions.” Belichick also alluded to that the deflation might be […]

98.5 KLUC–01/27/2015

Yasuyoshi Chita/AFP/Getty Images

Parody: Downtown Funk

I don’t know if there is a hidden meaning in Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars’ electro-funk smash “Uptown Funk.” I assume it’s simply about what the title suggests, funk in a neighborhood of a large […]

98.5 KLUC–01/27/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Get Your Fingers Out My Trail Mix

Look at the photo. It’s a bag of trail mix…obviously. Each day I bring a bag just like this one to eat some time after 8am. It’s my mid-morning snack, if you must know. Now, […]

98.5 KLUC–01/26/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Spence’s Challenge: The Wheel of Impersonations

Rock In Rio tickets to see Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars and the like during the “pop weekend” May 15th and 16th are a big deal. Big enough, in fact, to break out one of Spence’s […]

98.5 KLUC–01/23/2015

Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

Auto Racing Ain’t a Sport, Bro

A new poll asked Americans whether certain activities count as sports. 52% say bowling is a sport. 33% claim fishing is a sport the same number agree that cheerleading is a sport. Is chess, poker […]

98.5 KLUC–01/23/2015

Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images, Fredrick M. Brown/Getty Images, Grand Lamos IV/Getty Images

Free Ticket Thursday

It’s another Free Ticket Thursday on January 22nd. All day listen to score your win ‘em before you can buy ‘em tickets to see 98.5 KLUC Old School Lunch Hour superstars, NKOTB, TLC, and Nelly […]

98.5 KLUC–01/22/2015

Cleveland Cavaliers v Los Angeles Lakers

Will Ferrell Hits a Cheerleader In the Face with a Basketball

Bro, if you launch a basketball into the face of a random NBA cheerleader’s face, you will go to jail. Unless, of course, you are Will Ferrell. During Wednesday night’s Pelicans-Lakers game in New Orleans, […]

98.5 KLUC–01/22/2015

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