It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.
So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?
Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.
I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?
I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)
I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.
So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.
Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”
The Grammy nominations came out this morning and shockingly Spence’s holiday album “A Drunken Christmas” did not make the cut.
December 2nd, known as the “A-holiest of the A-holies,” and also known as Spencemas…or the birth of Spence. (You’re welcome.)
Tonight at the T-Mobile Arena, we will finally learn the name of our city’s first professional sports franchise.
It’s Spence’s first kids Song of the Week…well, kinda. I mean, you’re 8 year old boy will love it. Enjoy “Beans & Milk.”
Check out Spence’s parody of “O Canada” in honor or our post-election not so mass-exodus north.
No one is moving to Canada after the election, however, it’s fun to sing about it. See Spence’s Song of the Week, “O Canada.”
***Update…We accepted your votes on our website, as well as, on social media and it appeared that Juice Box would be the winner…until Spence uncovered a photo of our intern that changed everything
I’m sure you are happy that this nightmarish election cycle will be over in a matter of hours. Can you imagine what it is like for the daughter of a presidential nominee? Chelsea Clinton has been through it not once, but twice.
If there’s one reason to be thankful for the end of this election, it’s that we will no longer see any more negative ads for or against Nevada senatorial candidates, Joe Heck and Catherine Cortez Masto.
Kayla, a former Florida State Seminole cheerleader, takes her talents to Desert Oasis High School for this week’s edition of Cheer-E-Oke.