It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.
So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?
Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.
I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?
I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)
I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.
So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.
Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”
$273 in the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot… $1,000 Bonus… One Spence to beat… Will you win next? Try playing Spence’s Challenge, it’s a five questions, thirty second pop-culture trivia game! Tie Spence and you’ll win all of the cash in the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot, beat Spence and you’ll win the $1,000 bonus!
Comedian Ryan O’Flanagan is a an overly excited tourist who can’t handle Las Vegas. This Funny Or Die video will make every single local howl with delight.
Spence took home his 5th win in a row today, adding another $25.00 in the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot! Do you want to win tons of cash? Just tie Spence in Spence’s Challenge and you could win $223! Beat Spence, and we’ll throw in an extra $1,000! Practice, Play Win!
Mathematics. Astronomy. Ornithology. If you were at EDC how would you fare on these questions posed by Intern Sammich?
This is your official Father’s Day anthem. Spence’s Song of the Week pays tribute to father’s and their luxurious figures in “Dad Bod.”
If you know anything about Batman, you’re aware that his father was tragically killed. It seems that for many superheroes, Father’s Day is a day filled with angst and sadness.
Five Questions… Thirty Seconds… One chance to win up to $1148.00! Will you win the money next? Just tie Spence in Spence’s Challenge and win the $148 in the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot, beat Spence and we’ll throw in an extra $1,000! Practice, Play, Win!
Spence redeems himself! Winning his first game since losing to P1 Tori Beaudreau yesterday… Adding the first $25.00 into the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot for a new grand total of $123! Want to win the cash?Just tie Spence in Spence’s Challenge, want to win the $1000 bonus? Beat him! Practice, Play, Win!
SPENCE GOES DOWN! Losing for only the 3rd time EVER, Spence gives up his 48 game win streak! Tori Beaudreau wins $2273.00! The Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot will restart back at $25 on Tuesday! Think you have what it takes to win the cash? If you can tie Spence you’ll win all of the money in the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot, and we’ll throw in an extra $1000 if you can beat him! Practice, Play Win!
Are you uber-proud of that dad bod? Sure, you’ve let yourself go but now you can use that to your advantage to win prizes by entering the 7th Annual Mr. Dad Bod 2017.