Spence

kluc2 spence 01 Spence
kluc2 studioline Spence kluc2 tweeter Spence kluc2 facebook1 Spence

It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.

So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?

Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.

I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?

I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)

I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.

So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.

Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”

– Spence

Vallery Hache/AFP/Getty Images

Night at the Erotic Heritage Museum

Maybe this could be the new sequel in the Ben Stiller led “Night at the Museum” franchise. TMZ reports that a couple was busted attempting a sexual tryst, after hours, at the Erotic Heritage Museum […]

98.5 KLUC–11 hours ago

Spence/98.5 KLUC

March Is More Than St. Patty’s Day

What do you really know about the third month of the year? St. Patrick’s Day? Pretty much, right? The 17th of March, along with Cinco de Mayo and New Years Eve might be the three […]

98.5 KLUC–03/03/2015

Ed Jones/Getty Images

SNL’s Controversial ISIS Sketch

Months ago we were shocked to learn three Denver-area teenagers were detained by police in Turkey. They were on their way to Syria to join ISIS, the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. Apparently, they […]

98.5 KLUC–03/02/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Spence’s New Ride

Until my car went in the shop about a month ago, I had never driven a Hyundai. The rental joint hooked me up with an Elantra and, as I said on the air, I was […]

98.5 KLUC–03/02/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Final Word: The Color of the Dress Is…

White and gold? Blue and black? The interwebs went absolutely berserk yesterday about #TheDress. Was it an optical illusion? Does it have something to do with polarization? Maybe it’s the brightness on your phone screen? […]

98.5 KLUC–02/27/2015

(Photo credit should read OZAN KOSE/AFP/Getty Images)

Broke? What Will You Absolutely NOT Give Up?

In 98.5 KLUC artist Pitbull’s track “Time of Our Lives” sings, “I knew my rent was gon’ be late about a week ago. I worked my ass off, but I still can’t pay it though. […]

98.5 KLUC–02/26/2015

98.5 KLUC

Breakfast with Joey Fatone

The “temporary hiatus” of the pop juggernaut, NSync began in 2002, some 13 years ago. The boys have all gone their own directions, save their performance together at MTV’s Video Music Awards in 2013. Joey […]

98.5 KLUC–02/26/2015

Spence/98.5 KLUC

“Pawn Stars'” Chumlee on the Zoo

It’s good to be the king. Nine seasons, 365 episodes of stories from the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop on Las Vegas Boulevard and Vegas local, Chumlee is living the dream. Fresh off a multi-week […]

98.5 KLUC–02/25/2015

Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Video: Kobe Is Not Amused

Five-time NBA champion, Kobe Bryant is all about winning. He was part of the three-peat Laker team of 2000-2002. He knows winning. He celebrates winning. Well, that is, when it means something. Monday night on […]

98.5 KLUC–02/24/2015

(Courtesy of Atlantic Records)

Parody: Tinger – Tinder for the Gingers

How is anyone single anymore? I mean, you have match.com, plentyoffish.com and eharmony. There are niche dating sites too. If you’re a Christian there’s “Christian Mingle.” If you’re a hillbilly you can find fellow hillbillies […]

98.5 KLUC–02/24/2015

next

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 462 other followers