It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.
So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?
Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.
I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?
I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)
I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.
So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.
Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”
Check out our animated video explaining how to win “The Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot.”
There’s a lot of stuff going on inside your iPhone6. Stuff you don’t know about. Stuff you don’t WANT to know about. “Like what?” you may ask. How about Siri hitting on Pikachu?
On the heels of the Republican National Convention, Spence discovered that his dog might actually have been swayed into supporting Donald Trump for president.
You had one job. The chairman of the Nevada Republican party simply had to announce that the Silver State was throwing its support behind presumptive Republican nominee, Donald J. Trump.
After a week off, Spence was back and as mature as ever. With “The Real’s” Loni Love in studio, homie strapped on his ax and busted out “Boobies.” Classy.
Calvin Harris took to Twitter to defend himself and throws serious shade at his ex, Taylor Swift.
In slightly more than 48 hours, Nintendo has made $7.5 billion all off “Pokemon Go,” the free game app that let’s you “catch ’em all” right in your own neighborhood.
The website CafeMom.com came up with a bunch of ‘lifehacks’ to try this summer. And most of them are things you’d probably never do. But here are four that are pretty decent…
Nevada has some of the happiest accused in the country according to a new survey.
See the video for “Firework Firejerk,” as well as, all of Spence’s Songs of the Week.