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It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.

So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?

Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.

I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?

I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)

I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.

So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.

Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”

– Spence

Timothy A. Clary/AFP/Getty Images

The Pet Halloween Costume Contest

Want to show off your pet and win some great prizes? It’s Chet, Spence & Kayla’s first ever “Pet Halloween Costume Contest, Halloween morning.

98.5 KLUC–10/24/2016

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Spence’s Song of the Week

This presidential election has been nothing short of ridiculous and we’re all counting the days including Spence. As of Friday there were 18 days left until the vote is done. Here’s Spence’s take on it.

98.5 KLUC–10/23/2016

Drew Angerer/Getty Images

The Third Dirty Debate

Much to the relief of nearly every soul on planet earth, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump met on the debate stage one final time. (18 days and counting)

98.5 KLUC–10/20/2016

Isaac Brekken/Getty Images

Spence on the Strip #1

Armed only with a microphone and his wits, Spence, hit the world famous Las Vegas Strip for the first episode of “Spence on the Strip.”

98.5 KLUC–10/20/2016

Spence/98.5 KLUC

Spence’s Song of the Week

Every Friday at 8:05, it’s a new song from the twisted mind of Spence. Check out the video for “Threesome Awesome.”

98.5 KLUC–10/17/2016

Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

PSA: Clown Shaming

This fascination with “creepy clowns” is hurting real, honest to God, kids party, rodeo, balloon animal-makin’, big shoe-wearin’ clowns. Clown Shaming is a real thing.

98.5 KLUC–10/12/2016

Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty Images

And Trump’s Favorite Word Is…

Once you get past the bluster, the interruptions, the rampant sniffing, Donald Trump is pretty much a disaster…or at least likes the word a lot.

98.5 KLUC–10/10/2016

Rick Wilking/AFP/Getty Images

Trumpsniffle: The Sequel

There were all kinds of rumors, accusations and explanations for Donald Trump’s first debate “sniffles.” Social media labeled it the “TrumpSniffle.”

98.5 KLUC–10/10/2016

(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

The Second Dirty Debate

The second presidential debate was nasty. Spence made it dirty.

98.5 KLUC–10/10/2016

Timothy A. Clary/AFP/Getty Images

Bruno Mars Returns to Vegas

On the heels of his Vegas-inspired video for “24K Magic,” Bruno will play the new Park Theater at Monte Carlo with two shows on December 30th and 31st.

98.5 KLUC–10/10/2016


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