It was more than few years ago I was scratching out a living pushing a mop at MIT. You know, running around with my buddies, chasing skirts, drinking beer and hassling Barneys.
So, it was out of sheer boredom that I completed that “unsolvable” theorem written on a hallway chalkboard. After all, I was always good at arithmetic, what you less geniusey-types refer to as “math.” (Between you and I, I thought I was doing a Soduku.) Who knew?
Anyway, my therapist, Sean, who was total doppelgänger for Robin Williams, wanted one thing for me. Professor Lambeau wanted another. He repeatedly told me to call him Gerry and would call me, drunk, and invite me to his place to show me his “Fields Medal.” He’d say over and over, “It’s really big and impressive.” Whatever.
I decided to follow Sean’s advice. I left behind several lucrative job offers to follow this girl, Skylar, to Stanford University. I’d only gone out with her, like, three times. She had freckles, I think and she thought she could play in the NBA. Bitch, please!?!?
I hopped in my beater, that my boys bought me for my 21st birthday, and headed west. Unfortunately, the POS broke down outside of Goshen, Indiana. I just stayed there. I eventually got a gig doing nights on Goshen College radio. (Go Leafs!!!)
I eventually did make it out west, albeit not to California, but to Las Vegas where I now co-host the Chet Buchanan & the Morning Zoo radio program. In addition, I write and produce comedy that airs nationally through Delicious Audio.
So you know, I haven’t completely gotten out of the math game. I’ve been known to balance an occasional check book and during tax time I do a little part-time work at Walmart in the Jackson-Hewitt kiosk.
Today, when people ask me, “How do I like them apples?” I respond, “In a pie with a golden brown flaky crust and maybe a dollop of Cool Whip.”
You can’t just have one Niall Horan “Slow Hands” parody song. You can’t. Last week it was “Man Hands.” This week, “Jazz Hands.”
With another win under his belt, Spence is now closer to beating his high score more than ever before!
Spence was so excited. He finally got his authentic Vegas Golden Knights jersey.
Five questions, thirty seconds… what do you say if you don’t know the answer? “Jim-Bob-Cooter!”
This is useful for two types of people. The kind who like beer but don’t want to feel bloated. And the type who take pride in their burping prowess. A scientist tested 31 different beers […]
She’s a lovely woman but she has manly hands. Yes, Man Hands. Spence with a Niall Horan parody as his Song of the Week.
Are you a P1? Do you love money? Why not call everyday at 7:25am for a chance to play Spence’s Challenge?
Chet got a pat down…er…rubdown by TSA at the Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport. Fortunately, Spence was there to be inspired with his Song of the Week, “I’ve Been Felt Up By The TSA.”
Spence sailed to victory today adding another $25 in the Terrible Herbst Spence’s Challenge Jackpot!
Fresh from Texas, Spence get’s a perfect score in today’s Spence’s Challenge!